Saturday, April 18, 2009

Chris Bennett - Sunday, April 19

1st 5 innings
Brewers/Mets (Suppan/Figueroa) Under 6 -120

4/18: -3.45 units
STD: +7.58 units

Ross - Sunday

more than likely passing on today's card. Sorry to those that win by fading me.



Saturday: 0-3(-3.3)

ytd: 7-15-1 (-7.9)

John Murray - Saturday, April 18 ( 2 )

919 Angels +117 (Oliver/Slowey)
923 White Sox +153 (Buehrle/Kazmir)
928 Rangers -113 (Millwood/Greinke)
930 Mariners -145 (Bedard/E Jackson)


When I was seventeen
My bankroll had a very good year
It was a very good year for small town squares
I bet a backwards number at the IP
Using my fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
When I was seventeen


Frank Sinatra (1966)

John Murray - Saturday, April 18

901 Braves -105 (Reyes/Snell)

fri: 4-2, +2.06 "U's"

ytd: 24-14, +9.59 "U's"

Matthew Metcalf - Saturday, April 18, 2009

911/912 Padres/Phillies OVER 9.5 EVEN
925/926 Orioles/Red Sox OVER 9.5 -105
927/928 Royals/Rangers OVER 9 -110

yesterday: 3-2 (+0.90 units)

ytd: 39-34 (+1.75 units)

Jorgen 4/18

917 Oakland (Cahill/Tallet) +125
927 Kansas City (Greinke/Millwood) +110

2 team parlay to win 2.83 units
927 Kansas City (Greinke/Millwood) +105
928 Texas/Kansas City (Greinke/Millwood) OVER -115

Yesterday: 1-4 -2.4
YTD: 7-13 -6.25

Ross - Fades for Saturday

Reds/Astros over 8 -110
Royals/Rangers over 9 -110
Tigers/Seattle over 8 -110



friday: 4-2 (+2.4)
ytd: 7-12-1 (-4.6)

Scott -- Saturday April 18

A's +123
Royals +107

Yesterday: 3-2 +1.88u
YTD: 25-14 +15.23u

Friday, April 17, 2009

Chris Bennett - Saturday, April 18

Athletics (Cahill/Tallet) +125
Royals (Greinke/Millwood) +110
Mariners (Bedard/Jackson) -125
Royals/Rangers (Greinke/Millwood) Over 9 -115
1st 5 innings
Indians/Yankees (Carmona/Wang) Under 6 -115

4/17: +4.45 units
STD: +11.03 units

CHRIS GRAHAM - SATURDAY APRIL 18

905 Milwaukee (Gallardo/Santana) +1.5 -145

915 Colorado (Cook/Billingsley) +1.5 -150


4/16: 1-1 -0.25 units

2009: 6-2 +3.87 units

Matthew Metcalf - Friday, April 17, 2009 (2)

965/966 Diamondbacks/Giants OVER 4 -105 (1st 5 Innings)
965/966 Diamondbacks/Giants OVER 7.5 -110
979/980 Tigers/Mariners OVER 3.5 -120 (1st 5 Innings)
979/980 Tigers/Mariners OVER 7.5 +105

Austin Bhushan II - Friday, April 17

dbacks -145

Ross - Fades for Friday

Braves +110
Padres +140
Braves/Pitt over 8 even
Padres/Phils over 8.5 -120
Royals/Rangers over 10.5 even
Tigers/Seattle over 7.5 even


yesterday 1-2-1 -1.05
std - 3-10-1 (-7.00)

Austin Bhushan - Friday, April 17

Braves +105
Royals/Rangers Over 10.5 EVEN

2/14 - 2-0 (+2)
ytd - 6-8 (-2.5)

Jorgen 4/17 II

954 Washington/Florida (Lannan/Nolasco) OVER 9 -105

2 team parlay to win 2.55 units
953 Florida (Nolasco vs. Lannan) -122
953 Florida/Washington (Nolasco/Lannan) OVER 9 -105

Jorgen 4/17

957 San Diego (Young vs. Hamels) +160
967 Cleveland (Reyes vs. Chamberlain) +200

2 team parlay to win 5 units
967 Cleveland (Reyes vs. Chamberlain) +200
967 Cleveland/New York (Reyes/Chamberlain) OVER 9 EVEN


Yesterday: 3-5 -2.5 units
YTD: 6-9 -3.85 units

Scott - Friday April 17

Mariners -117
Indians +191
Giants +135
Padres +153
Orioles +140

Yesterday: 2-1 +1.00u
YTD: 22-12 +13.35u

Matthew Metcalf - Friday, April 17, 2009

971/972 Orioles/Red Sox OVER 9.5 -105

yesterday: 4-1 (+2.80 units)

ytd: 36-32 (+0.85 units)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

John Murray - Friday, April 17

953 Marlins -125 (Nolasco/Lannan)
957 Padres +150 (C Young/Hamels)
960 Mets -123 (L Hernandez/Bush)
962 Astros -144 (Oswalt/Cueto)
971 Orioles +135 (Guthrie/Penny)
980 Mariners -121 (F Hernandez/Verlander)


thu: 1-1, +/-0 "U's"

ytd: 20-12, +7.53 "U's"


[sound of static]

[announcer]
Meet Bennett, twenty-seven years old.
Fed up with his bankroll and the way variances are going,
he decides to bet a correlated parlay at the Wynn
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more Sherman")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta bet this.. gotta bet this")

[Minnesota CB]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this incompetent sports book
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Vegas CB]
That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to a stripper's crib
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Danielle's razor blade

[Minnesota CB]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
Johnny Avello knows you and he'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the sports teller, she's older than George Burns

[Vegas CB]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Bet that parlay!
Can you afford to pass on this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she gets fired? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you are running bad?

[Minnesota CB]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the betting sheet (I will!)
Don't even listen to Vegas CB yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Minnesota CB? I don't like your attitude..)



Eminem feat. Dr Dre (1999)

Chris Bennett - Friday, April 17

Pirates (Maholm/Jurrjens) +110
Braves/Pirates (Maholm/Jurrjens) Under 8.5 -115
Giants (Sanchez/Haren) +135
Royals/Rangers (Meche/Harrison) Over 10.5 EVEN

4/16: +1.0 units
STD: +6.58 units



"The whole problem with the world is that sharp-squares and square-sharps are always so certain of themselves, but All-Sports Sharps so full of doubts."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

A Few Things

I like how people call me to point something out and when I write a post about the very thing they called me about it, they say I am cluttering up the board with too much talk.

My posting new rules and someone else making comments with their picks is really not the same thing.


1. This came up on Wednesday - You cannot post a pick twice at different numbers. All you're doing is getting a multi-unit play at the average of your two bets. Do you know how badly this thing would get out hand if Scott was allowed to post multi unit plays? Can't have it.

2. Remember to post your previous day's record and your overall record in your first post for the next day.

3. If you want to mock someone leave a comment on their post. That way it won't clutter up the board and you will still be able to convey your message that you came up with something funny at his expense. For example - The next time Metcalf posts his plays I am going to leave him a comment stating that I think it took him longer to doctor that rap lyric than it did for him to make his bets. I giggled when I first thought of that zinger and have been patiently waiting to unload it on him. Continue to post rap lyrics (CB - We're waiting....) but keep the mocking to the comments section.

You guys stay sharp.

Scott - Thursday, April 16

Blue Jays -129
Giants +165
Angels -135

Yesterday: 1-4 -3.05u
YTD: 20-11 +12.35u

"Kim is a witch and variance is a bitch" - Eminem 2003

Ross - Thursday II

Phillies -1.5 +105

Phills/Nats overS 10 even

Chris Graham - Thursday, April 16

916 Tampa Bay (Danks/Niemann) +1.5 -165

920 Seattle (Saunders/Jakubauksas) +1.5 -125

2009: 4-1 +4.12 units

"We're not against sharps. We're not against square sharps. But we are against those variances." - Intro from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony 'Thuggish Ruggish Bone' (1994)

Jorgen 4/16

918 Minnesota/Toronto OVER 7 -110
918 Minnesota/ Toronto OVER 3.5 -110 (1st Five Innings)

John Murray - Thursday, April 16

916 Rays EVEN (Niemann/Danks)
917 Blue Jays -135 (Halladay/Liriano)

wed: 2-0, +2.00 "U's"

ytd: 19-11, +7.53 "U's"




Picture Me Rollin (In Units)

Ross - Thursday the 16th

Padres +115
LAA/Sea overS 8.5 -120



yesterday -3.15 units
std -5.95 units

Jorgen 4/16

Bad day for the squares. I'd blame variance, but that's not an excuse when you're just another kid.


911 San Francisco (Zito vs. Stults) +160
910 New York (Maine vs. Peavy) -125

Matthew Metcalf - Thursday, April 16, 2009 (2)

905/906 Cardinals/Cubs OVER 4 -115 (1st 5 Innings)
905/906 Cardinals/Cubs OVER 8 -115

Jorgen 4/16

913 New York/Cleveland UNDER 4.5 -110 (1st Five)

2 team parlay to win 1.78 units:

914 New York (Sabathia vs. Lee) -205
913 New York/Cleveland UNDER 9 -115

Matthew Metcalf - Thursday, April 16, 2009

913/914 Indians/Yankees UNDER 4.5 -110 (1st 5 Innings)
913/914 Indians/Yankees UNDER 9 -120
909/910 Padres/Mets OVER 7.5 -110

yesterday: 2-1-1 (+1.00 units)

ytd: 32-31 (-1.95 units)

"While the sharp sharps are drivin benzs, i'm still tryin to hold on to NFL +3 -110's, and its crazy, it seems CB's sharpness will never let up, but please, you gots to keep ya head up"
- 2pac (1992) .......... good stuff CC

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Chris Bennett - Thursday, April 16

1st 5 innings
Giants/Dodgers (Zito/Stults) Over 4 -110

4/15: +0.05 units
STD: +5.58 units

CHRIS GRAHAM Wednesday April 15

No plays today. Just updating... and I wanted in on this rap game.

4/14: 1-0 +1.00 units

2009: 5-1 +4.12 units

"Calculators. We calculate any variance from any property. And we damn good too. But you can't be any square off the street, gotta be sharp with the sheets if you know what I mean, earn your keep! Calculators, mount up!" - intro from Warren G. feat. Nate Dogg 'Reguate' (1994)

Jorgen 4/16

For Thursday:

914 New York (Sabathia)/Cleveland (Lee) UNDER 9 -115
916 Tampa Bay (Niemann)/Chicago (Danks) UNDER 9.5 -125

4/15: 1-2 -1
YTD: 3-4 -1.35

Chris Bennett - Wednesday, April 15

Padres (Correia/Perez) +180

Matthew Metcalf - Wednesday, April 15, 2009 (2)

965/966 Giants/Dodgers OVER 4 EVEN (1st 5 Innings)
965/966 Giants/Dodgers OVER 7.5 -105

"Me, and you, your mama, and CB too, rollin down the strip on vogues, coming up slammin wrong side favored soccer parlays at Caesars...." - Outkast (1996) [chorus from Elevators]

Chris Bennett - Wednesday, April 15

Orioles/Rangers (Hendrickson/Benson) Over 12 +105

John Murray - Wednesday, April 15 ( 2 )

964 Brewers -131 (Looper/Owings)

Ross - Wednesday the 15th II

Braves -1.5 +110






and, Murray can rattle off 4 paragraphs...but I can't celebrate my hatred for TGTW? BS.

Chris Bennett - Wednesday, April 15

Reds/Brewers (Owings/Looper) Over 9 -115

John Murray - Wednesday, April 15

973 Yankees -107 (Pettitte/Sonnanstine)


tue: 2-1, +1.03 "U's"

ytd: 17-11, +5.53 "U's"

Jorgen 4/15

961 San Diego (Correia vs Perez) +170

2 team parlay to win 2.67 units (I think)
975 Baltimore (Hendrickson vs Benson) EVEN
976 Texas/Baltimore OVERS 11.5 -120

Ross - Wednesday the 15th I

Padres/Mets overS 9.5 -105
Indians/Royals overS 9.5 -110



yesterday 1-3 (-1.8 variances)

ytd 2-5 (-2.8 variances)

Chris Bennett - Wednesday, April 15

Orioles (Hendrickson/Benson) +105

4/14: +1.0 units
STD: +5.53 units

Scott - Wednesday April 15

Giants +144
Padres +172
A's +105
Angels -105
O's/Rangers over 11.5 -110

Monday: 3-2 +2.16u
Tuesday: 1-0 +1.00u

YTD: 19-7 +15.40 units

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Update

A couple new players joined the fray this week with Andy Ross and Jorgie coming on board. As far as new players joining in, there really is no reason to not include as many people as possible. There's no one more than a few units up right now except for Hoffman and nobody is going to catch him anyway so it's not like it's too late to join and be competitive. It's a long season, guys.

We will include more people upon request so anyone who wants to donate money to the Scott Hoffman Lap Dances Foundation need only to ask and ye shall receive.

CB and I talked about the contest today and two main issues were brought up:

1. The picture section. Chris didn't like the fact that I had a picture of David Hasselhoff on the blog the other day while he was work. He said he wants to be able to check this page without having to worry about someone coming up behind him and asking why he's on a website with a picture of a shirtless "The Hoff." Fair enough. But today when I told him that Jorgen was going to be in the contest, he said he thought I should put a picture of a guy carrying a purse on the blog to welcome Jorgie to the party. So apparently CB wouldn't mind if Jay or Jeff or someone else came up behind him and saw him looking at a picture of a male model carrying a purse?

The picture section stays. And Chris - When you least suspect it, I will be putting up a very graphic picture. Stay on your toes.

2. Comments on the blog. Chris also said he wasn't happy about people making little comments with their picks. I am going to have to agree with him on this. No chatter. Except for in the case of funny rap quotes lamely altered to touch on sports betting. For some reason, I find it hilarious that Metcalf posts the year the quote was uttered with each one. Does he know what year those songs came out off the top of his head? Did he have to google it to find out for sure? What percentage of the population even knows who Kurupt is? I'm going to get to the bottom of this. But please keep the rap quotes coming provided that you time stamp them a la Billy Lincoln.

Go get some units.

Jorgen 4/15

976 Texas/Baltimore over 11.5 -110

Yesterday 2-2 -.35

YTD: 2-2 -.35

Matthew Metcalf - Wednesday, April 15, 2009

953/954 Cardinals/Diamondbacks OVER 10 -115
961/962 Padres/Mets OVER 9 -125

yesterday: 3-3-2 (-0.20 units)
ytd: 30-30 (-2.95 units)

"STATS rules everything around me V.A.R.I.A.N.C.E.... get the money, dollar dollar bill ya'll"
- Method Man of the Wu Tang Clan (1993)

Chris Graham - Tuesday, April 14

920 A's +1.5 -120

ytd: 4-1, +3.12 units


(Chris called me before this game started to let me know that he had bet A's RL and to ask me to post it for him.)

Scott - Tuesday April 14

Royals -137

Records will be posted later

Jorgen Johnson - Tuesday, April 14

This is going to be funny.

902 Atlanta (Vazquez vs. Volstad) -135
918 KC/Cleveland UNDERS 9 +105
916 Minnesota (what a stupid state)/Toronto UNDERS 9 -120
916 Minnesooooota/Toronto UNDERS 5 -120 (1st 5 innings)

YTD 0-0...probably the high point for the year.

Mock away kids. Mock away.

Can we do an AFL contest next year?

John Murray - Tuesday, April 14

910 Mariners -101 (Silva/Loux)
909/910 Angels/Mariners OVER 9.5 +105
911 Yankees +103 (Burnett/Garza)

mon: 5-1, +4.39 "U's"

ytd: 15-10, +4.50 "U's"



Contrary to popular belief, there is no prize for posting the funniest rap lyric(s).

Although maybe there should be.

Ross Tuesday II

Braves -1.5 +140
LA Angels -1.5 +145

Austin Bhushan - Tuesday, April 14

Yankees/Rays Over 8.5 -110
Dbacks +1.5 -145

4/13 - 0-3 (-3)

ytd- 4-8 (-4.5)

Matthew Metcalf - Tuesday, April 14, 2009 (2)

903/904 Reds/Brewers UNDER 5 -110 (1st 5 Innings)
905/906 Cardinals/Diamondbacks UNDER 5 -105 (1st 5 Innings)
911/912 Yankees/Rays UNDER 4.5 -110 (1st 5 Innings)
919/912 Red Sox/Athletics UNDER 4 +105 (1st 5 Innings)

"The Variance's Tryin Ta Kill Me" - Master P (1999)

Ross - Tuesday

D'Backs +120
Tigers +115
Indians +125




std - 1-2(-1 variance)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Chris Bennett - Tuesday, April 14

Orioles/Rangers (Simon/McCarthy) Over 11 -115

Edit: 4/13: +2.05 units
STD: +4.53 units

Scott, at the end of the season, John said he'd take care of my $100. Thanks John.

Matthew Metcalf - Tuesday, April 14, 2009

903/904 Reds/Brewers UNDER 9 EVEN
905/906 Cardinals/D'Backs UNDER 9 -110
911/912 Yankees/Rays UNDER 9 -115
919/920 Red Sox/A's UNDER 8.5 -110

yesterday: 1-8-1 (-8.15 units)

ytd: 27-27 (-2.75 units)

"Variance is a mutha" - Kurupt (2001)

Austin Bhushan

I mean ytd 4-5 (-1.5)

Austin Bhushan - Monday, April 13

Indians -1.5 +180
Yankees -1.5 +205
Reds -1.5 +200

4/12 - (2-1(+1.3))

ytd - 4-5 (-0.2)

Ross - Monday III

O's/Rangers over 10.5 even

Ross - Monday II

Indians 1st 5 +105

Ross - Monday

Finally in action......all my bets are from BetUS. And probably at very bad numbers so back off CB.




Indians +110

Chris Bennett - Monday, April 13

Orioles/Rangers (Uehara/Padilla) Over 10.5 +105

John Murray - Monday, April 13 ( 2 )

969 Orioles +115 (Uehara/Padilla)
971 Indians +115 (Carmona/Greinke)
973 Blue Jays +111 (Litsch/Slowey)

Matthew Metcalf - Monday, April 13, 2009 (3)

951/952 Astros/Pirates OVER 8.5 -125

John Murray - Monday, April 13

955 Phillies -110 (Moyer/Cabrera)
955/956 Phillies/Nationals OVER 9.5 -115
965 White Sox +113 (Floyd/Miner)

sun: 2-1, +1.56 "U's"

ytd: 10-9, +0.11 "U's"

Week 1 Standings

Here's where the sharps, the sharp sharps, the sharp squares, the square squares and me are sitting through the first week:

Hoffy: +12.24

Billy Lincoln: +5.40

Coordinator: +3.12

CB: +2.48

I.B.Sharpman: +0.11

ATown23: -1.5


Takes a real wise ass to call yourself "I.B.Sharpman." when you're in 5th place out of 6 people.

May all your variances be positive this week.

(That means "Good luck" in Chris Bennett's world.)

Matthew Metcalf - Monday, April 13, 2009 (2)

951/952 Astros/Pirates OVER 4.5 -120 (1st 5 Innings)
965/966 White Sox/Tigers UNDER 5 -105 (1st 5 Innings)
971/972 Indians/Royals OVER 4 -115 (1st 5 Innings)
973/974 Blue Jays/Twins UNDER 4.5 -110 (1st 5 Innings)
975/976 Red Sox/A's UNDER 4.5 -125 (1st 5 Innings)

Ross - Week 1

0-0, even.



I need a runner.



Phil beat Tiger though, HA!

Scott - Monday, April 13

Giants +168
Padres +192
Reds +138
Tigers -114
Royals -123

YTD: 15-5 +12.24u

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Matthew Metcalf - Monday, April 13, 2009

967/968 Yankees/Rays UNDER 9 -110
971/972 Indians/Royals OVER 8 -115
973/974 Blue Jays/Twins UNDER 9 -120
975/976 Red Sox/A's UNDER 8 -105

yesterday: 4-4-1 (-0.40 units)
ytd: 26-19 (+5.40 units)

Matthew Metcalf - Week 1 Summary

Monday, April 6th - Sunday, April 12th: 26-19 (+5.40 units)

CHRIS GRAHAM - WEEK 1 (THROUGH 4/12)

Week 1 record: 4 - 1; +3.12 units

2009: 4 - 1; +3.12 units

Chris Bennett - Monday, April 13

Royals (Greinke/Carmona) -125

4/12: +2.0 units
STD: +2.48 units

Scott -- End of the week record

Yesterday: 1-0 +1.04
YTD: 15-5 +12.29

YTD adjusted for matchbook: +12.24

Update

Every Sunday night for the rest of the season, I want everyone to post what their record is at through that day's games.

I went 2-1 on Sunday for +1.56 units to give me an overall record of 10-9, +0.11 units. It seems like a lot of work for 0.11 units but I guess picking up 11 dimes is probably worth it. Probably.

So just post your records through Sunday night's game and I will post standings tomorrow morning.

As far as the situation with Hoffman and Matchbook, Scott has graciously agreed to factor Matchbook commissions into his record from now on and his posted record tonight will reflect that.

As far as that picture on the left, yes that is in fact a shot of Matt and his buddy taken at a recent Florida Gators tailgate.

For those of you who haven't yet started posting your picks but still wish to join in the contest - I recommend starting ASAP before Scott is so far ahead that you would have to pick the winner in every game for the rest of the season just to have a chance of catching him.

Also as far as side bets go - Chris said he was smarter than everybody. Team Matt said they don't expect anyone to be left in the contest by May 15 and Scott, well the smirk on his face says it all.

And I'm not impressed with any of you.

Austin Bhushan - Sunday, April 12

Astros +124
Mariners +103
Marlins +127

ytd: 2-4 (-2.8)

Chris Bennett - Sunday, April 12

1st 5 innings
Twins/White Sox (Blackburn/Buehrle) Under 5 -110

Chris Bennett - Sunday, April 12

1st 5 innings
Cubs/Brewers (Dempster/Suppan) Over 4.5 -110

4/11: -2.6 units
STD: +0.48 units

John Murray - Sunday, April 12

902 Marlins +130 (Johnson/Santana)
911 Giants -114 (Lincecum/Young)
913 Dodgers +140 (Wolf/Haren)

sat: 5-1, +3.78 "U's"

ytd: 9-9, -1.45 "U's"

Matthew Metcalf - Sunday, April 12, 2009 (2)

901/902 Mets/Marlins UNDER 4 -110 (1st 5 Innings)
903/904 Pirates/Reds OVER 5 -120 (1st 5 Innings)
907/908 Astros/Cardinals UNDER 4.5 -120 (1st 5 Innings)
909/910 Phillies/Rockies UNDER 5.5 -105 (1st 5 Innings)
925/926 Yankees/Royals UNDER 4 -110 (1st 5 Innings)